Life Chapters: Retirement

Most of us spend years working hard as we move forward in our careers.  We gain knowledge, skills, and experience that allow us to climb the ladder and ascend as we grow. At some point, each of us begins to dream about what it would be like to leave our corporate jobs or retire.  The days turn into years and the dream of a career shift turns into reality.  We look forward to escaping the “rat race”.  We plan our finances, and we daydream about trips we want to take, the golf we want to play, and the life we will have.  After much thought, planning, and dreaming, we submit our notice or put the business up for sale.  We celebrate the years of dedication; we say “thank you” and “goodbye” to those that helped us along the way.  A new life chapter begins.

There are real advantages to retirement. The alarm no longer goes off early unless we want it to. Dinner is always on time, no late hours at the office to interrupt. Those long meetings are now held on the porch with our pet and a cup of tea.  The daily fires have all been quenched and the general chaos is replaced by peace and quiet as we de-stress from the daily grind we had become so accustomed to.  We have plenty of time each day to do exactly what we want to do.  But for some of us….. once the newness wears off, the transition into retirement brings unanticipated challenges.  Once the emails and constant phone calls stop the quiet can become deafening.  What we didn’t plan for or anticipate was the potential loss of: 

• identity and purpose
• self-esteem
• friendships/connections
• routine and incentives that keep us moving

Some of us start to question if we made the right choice. We question retirement in general.  We hold onto the need to fill every hour with something urgent. We are so uncomfortable with this new lifestyle that we think of looking for a new job.  It can be a surprising response to a time in life we have looked forward to and planned for over the years.  The transition that we thought would put us into the Positive Psychology “Flourishing” box, has us bouncing between “striving” to find our new normal, “settling” for less than what we dreamed of, and at times, down into that “languishing” box as we struggle to find ways to productively use our free time.

Instead of flourishing as we create our new lifestyle, we can fall into the trap of wandering in the land of “what’s next?” or “what if”. 

BUT “What if”

• the loss of our old identity is required to find our true identity
• our self-esteem becomes based on the value of who we are and not what we do
• our new friendships and connections are stronger and more aligned with who we are becoming
• the loss of routine paved the way for new habits and adventures, ones that we could only create in this chapter of our lives

Our lives are like books.  A book is made up of chapters, each new chapter adds to and takes us through the story.  The Retirement Chapter is not the end of our book, it is the beginning of the next storyline.  We get to become our favorite authors.  We get to choose the next adventure to write about.

How we realign our lives and mindset to work through times of transition determines whether we thrive in our new life or get stuck wondering and wandering.  If you are going through transitions, writing a new chapter in your book, or feeling a bit stuck, I’m here writing my new chapter, sign up for a free coaching session, and let’s see what new plot lines we can outline.